Oh how I miss writing my thoughts.
It is such a great release to be able to express emotions. Humans are lucky to have the ability to express ourselves through our emotions.
Last night my sister sent me a link to a song (Sober, by Little Big Town). As soon as it started to play, tears fled through me like they had been there for so long waiting to burst out; like a huge waterfall that had been blocked by a beavers log for months. The tears came from an emotion that had needed to be expressed. The emotion I felt while crying huge droplets, had been building up, not knowing the burst of waterworks was what I needed, I continued to let them pour out. It felt so good and connected me with my soul. The emotion deep inside me felt so good to get out.
Since the beginning of October, Marc has been away for work. He goes away almost every month or couple months. We are use to his absence and miss him like crazy when he's gone. It seems the more he goes, no matter how long the trip, it feels like he's so far away that weeks seem like years to me.
I am so grateful we have chosen to live close to family. I don't know how the girls and I would make it through each day he's away without our loved ones by our side. Luckily, Marc is close enough to travel to, but when traveling with two young children, the trip seems endless, and the last one (a couple weeks ago) seemed to have aged me a couple years.
As my darling girls grow older, I have noticed I am too. They are hard to keep up with! They are both so smart, and so curious about everything. I am so busy keeping up with their cravings to learn. Riley has bloomed so big and fluffy since she entered Kindergarten. Her brain is full of amazing information and imagination, and her heart is drenched in passion for things that make her happy. Since Riley was born she has been determined to do things for herself. She never wants to give up until the job is done to her standards. She is determined to read and spell on her own, she figured out how to tie her own shoes, and has lost a hand full of teeth. Every day she makes me so proud, it is really such an amazing, AMAZING thing. She remembers to be my helper when daddy is gone and works so hard at remembering her manners and responsibilities. Mommy and me time is much need for my beautiful not so little baby and me.
Reese, whose heart is in my other hand, woke up one morning (or maybe in the middle of the night, as shes been enjoying the past week or so), and was ready to conquer the universe. Each day she finds new wonder through her, big, blue eyes and together we are creating so much love through learning. Reese is definitely hungry for new adventures. She melts my heart with her manners of, "thank you, please, bless you (if you cough or sneeze), help," and if you ask her how she is she will tell you "goooood". My heart is filling with so much joy thinking about how deliciously, amazing she is every day. Thinking about who she is becoming is so beautiful in every way.
Life sure does speed by. I try to remember babies are only young once.
No matter how hard the days may be with out Marc's physical support and presence, at the end of the day I am so grateful for what the day has given me and my family.
I do not take a single day for granted. I find new ways to enrich our souls; snuggles, hugs and giggles are just a few of them.
All the emotions that fill me each day, come and go, with some lasting to stay. Without knowing which ones dig down to stay, I know everything will always be ok.
Family, faith, love, music, friendship, health, laughter. Emotions, good or bad, happy and sad, I accept them all to help me connect with my soul. Each day is a new beginning and one day closer to being with my true love. Distance really does make the heart grown fonder. Every time I think of Marc, my heart is filled so warm with deep, red, pure love. I know he feels the same when he thinks about me, I can feel it through our connection.
Once in a while I get lost in the every day commotion of life. I forget how to connect with myself. For a while I didn't have the connection to write my thoughts. Lately, I have been feeling more connected to my thoughts and emotions and what a special feeling it is.
